White Power Mini Golf (Wasaga Beach, ON)
Fresssssh off the throws of hardest core ‘sploring, my partner in crime Jannx and I headed up to a sleepy and equally tacky town of Wasaga Beach, Ontario. Almost anyone around here knows about this place…the small (I mean broom closet sized cabins), and the drunken fools wandering the beach listening to Finger Eleven. I have bad memories of this place as a teenager getting sun burnt and only being able to get moon pies and hot dogs. I get these flashbacks whenever I hear “Smells like Teen Spirit” – which gives away my old age.
So upon a fresh tip we headed up and decided to see what a summer town had to offer in terms of abandonments. The answer is: a shit load of hardcore fun. Please try to contain yourselves and bring a full TACTIkAL gear outfit with you to bypass the smooth locals.
Our first stop was the cabins on the beach. They all seem to have nicknames and themes. It’s all pretty funny cabins names sunlight/moonlight and other assorted love shacks which all somehow seem to not be up to normal building standards. I’m betting 40sq foot rooms are illegal elsewhere , as most dog kennels have larger spaces.
We happened upon these German wonders on the beach. We had to bypass a tall white picket fence, which is a far better deterrent then razor wire if you ask me. After infiltrating like crazy, we found a chip wagon which sells fries N’ things (and these N’ things have haunted us since American Canning Company in Simcoe!) and an elaborate tactical color scheme designed to blend with the rest of the fuggly town where the inhabitants seem to be color blind, or something ….
Tired and exhausted we pressed on to out piece de résistance! A friggin’ haunted mini golf center. Appropriatly named White, we figured it was a observation based on the fact we hadn’t seen anything other then white peeps for a fair bit on our drive in. So racist mini-golf it is!
We reckoned the ass of the lawn and decided that there must be hardcore surveillance on the place as we thought nothing this good could be left alone guarded by barbed wire and high fences alone. Jan being 7ft tall just stepped over the damn fence leaving me to contemplate other access points. The locals were getting suspicious and then some woman with two rottie’s was eyeing the hell out of Jan. I however was still on the creep….until I found my way in! I climbed in via a windmill…thank goodness for the Dutch! This site was a beauty… although the size of average lawn (well not in Toronto anyways), it had windmills, houses, slopping and dipping paths probably designed for about 7 minutes of good old family fun for those unmotivated to see this places true charms.
We ‘splored it all, taking hundreds of photos — making drawing of the layout and taking multiple ’selfie’ flicks. We saw it all, felt breezes (well I could have been the fact we were outside and a storm was rolling in), when we noticed hundreds of locals had gathered around to see our discovery. I bet there were wishing they were there first to document this great location and get their cred on a famous UrbX website I will not make mention of. Well you snooze, u lose fools.
Exhausted and spent with all out hard work and efforts, we hastily made our exit undetected and headed down to Timmy’s where we again strangely saw ONLY white people. We even found an abandoned tractor! w00t, w00t!
This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 17th, 2008 at 4:54 pm and is filed under lame ass UE. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.